Falling Forward

Yesterday, February 11th, 2016, marked the official day I became a blogger, simply by hitting the publish button on a website that I have worked on for months. I am not sure why yesterday was the day, all I can say is it just felt right.

It was freaking scary and made me feel extremely vulnerable.

I am newbie to all of this, I have read so many books in the past year on blogging and writing, more than I’d like to admit. I have checked out people’s blogs here and there and even started writing a book. The blog felt like the path to take, I went with what my instincts were telling me. Which I have found is not the easiest thing to carry out. After a lot of inner dialogue and convincing yesterday I clicked that little button that read, “PUBLISH.” Just like that I became a “published writer.”

I have written about my deepest feelings and emotions on my son’s Facebook page, “I’m praying for Baby Jimmy Spagnolo,” for over 5 years now without a second thought. I didn’t think it would bother me one bit to write a blog, I was wrong. I think I scared myself silly because my audience was going to become a lot bigger and they didn’t know me or my journey. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that. Are we ready for anything new that comes? Truly, is there a way to prep for the future? Sure a bit, reading books, learning new skills, etc. but for the most part I don’t think so. I don’t think anything compares to actually living it. The best way to figure something out is to try it, make mistakes and learn.

Even with all my prep, yesterday was an epic fail. The mobile interface was not working at all, which is where most of my friends would be accessing my site. The links that I had posted on Facebook and Twitter, lead to a very old starter web page from last year. Sorry about that my friends. I frantically redid the entire site yesterday, thinking I needed a theme with a mobile interface. Yeah, I didn’t actually need it. After spending the entire day redoing the site, I called my host company and they had the problem fixed in 10 minutes. I think the gentlemen that helped me said something like, “we just needed to re-route a couple of things, tell them which way to go.”

I read a quote recently that’s so fitting to the situation. It read, “ Even if you fall on your face, your still moving forward.” ~ Victor Kiam

At least I fell forward. I’m glad I redid the site, the new design is exactly how I originally wanted and pictured it. That wouldn’t of happened if the mistake hadn’t been made. I do believe things happen for a reason. Yes, if you’re wondering, I laughed at myself quite a bit.

Lesson learned, never be too busy to wait on hold and too proud to ask for help.

That all being said, when the new design popped up on my phone last night after hitting the refresh button this overwhelming feeling came over me. I felt like I grew right then and there into someone entirely new. The image that comes to mind is when the Grinch’s heart grows, bigger and bigger and bigger and all he wants to do is good things with his life from that point on.

I wanted to bottle up that feeling, to keep it, but at the same time I wanted everyone I loved and cared about to feel it too. I closed my eyes in the moment, took a deep breathe in and almost forgot to exhale. I felt the air going in and out of my nose, I took note of how I felt in my whole body from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. I was light, like I was floating, nothing was pulling on me or weighing me down. Which I know that feeling all too well. I felt different. I had spread my wings, I was free in that moment. Now, time to fly. Its only the beginning and I have a lot of work to do. I can’t wait to do it and see how far I can go!!!!

What a feeling!

Remember whatever it is your working on or working towards, “You Were Born To Do This.”

I’ll either see you lying facedown on the floor next to me or up in the sky, either way remember at least we’re moving forward!

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